May 2013
2 posts
4 tags
Driver License, part VII
Surprisingly, New Jersey wasn’t too difficult in unscrewing my suspended driver’s license. All I had to do is to send them a proof that my vehicle was insured in Spain, and they unsuspended my license the same day. I thought to myself: “Hey, maybe NJ does not have such a shitty DMV after all?”
I do have to admit that my heart was biting faster towards the end of my customary two hour wait for...
6 tags
Driver's License, part VI
Special Announcement: A friend of mine Wladyslaw Zdanowicz, is a Polish military writer. I had come upon his book in Iraq, after hearing great things about it from re-deploying Polish troops. His book was really funny, it was about a Polish Soldier who was just a magnet for bad things in a war zone. To be honest, his book inspired me to start writing the Word of the Day where I write about my...
April 2013
7 posts
5 tags
Driver's License, part V
Eager to forget about my bad experiences at the New Jersey Department of Motor Vehicles office I went to the Virginia DMV just a couple days after I came back to the States from Spain.
I was really impressed with the organization of the DMV here at first. As soon as I walked up through the main door, a guard greeted me and pointed me to the help desk. There I got a number, and all I had to do...
11 tags
Driver's License, part IV
So, discouraged by my misadventures at the New Jersey Department of Motor Vehicles, I awaited in fear my crash with the Spanish bureaucracy in order to get a Spanish driver license. I heard horror stories about European bureaucracy; I heard that they even have laws there that regulate size of cucumbers.
Turns out my fears were unfound. I turned in my New Jersey motorcycle license, and a week...
8 tags
Driver's License: part II
When you are a company commander people always need stuff from you. Your Soldiers need stuff from you, your battalion Commander needs stuff from you, the Commander’s staff needs stuff from you.
But when you are a Recruiting Company Commander it gets even worse. The civilians need stuff from you as well. And there are only so many hours in a day to take care of the plethoric needs of...
3 tags
Driver's License. Part 1
Illinois is a great state to live in if you are military. They love the military over there. If you are a veteran the state will pay for your university. You don’t have to pay any income taxes. And if your driver license expire, it is still good as long as you have a valid active duty military ID.
So when my license expired in Hawaii I didn’t bother to renew it. Unfortunately military is...
4 tags
The Gift that Keeps on Giving
There is this major here at the office that has a Polish last name. We chatted a bit today about what it means to be Polish; apparently this major’s father did not find out he was Polish until his 18th birthday, when he was enlisting in the Army. His mother simply hid the fact that he was Polish from him, and she allowed him to live a pseudonymous life under a generic American last name.
Can...
5 tags
Post Office
Pentagon is a one huge office building. I mean, there is like 23 thousand people working here. It is like a small city. No wonder that the Pentagon has its own police department, its own Department of Motorized Vehicles Office and even its own post office.
So, yesterday I went to the post office, because I wanted to mail a couple packages overseas. I got really busy at work, so I left my...
7 tags
The British Conspiracy
I had this God awful dream at 4 a.m. today. I dreamed about the British Foreign Secretary Hague. He was acting all splenetic, and I was desperately trying to find the right piece of information to please him. I woke up drenched in sweat, and I could not fall asleep after that.
I honestly think that the British government is conspiring to take over my life. It seems like I cannot pick up a...
March 2013
6 posts
2 tags
Power Point
I honestly thought I know PowerPoint and PowerPoint production process. My 15 months in Iraq revolved around PowerPoint, and I doubted that there is anything about this devious MicroSoft invention that revolutionized the American War Fighting Machine that could still surprise me.
Apparently I was basking in the rays of my own ignorance…
Last couple days I was able to experience the Power Point...
6 tags
Are you all right?
So, I have this British friend. Sometimes we work out together, sometimes we eat together. He is a happy person, that Brit. He is always smiling and he is always in good mood. Whenever he sees me, he always greets, me with “Are you all right, mate?” Well, he doesn’t exactly say it like this. It sounds more like “Ya ah right, mate?”
To be honest, that question is always making me a bit...
7 tags
Joint Staff
So, I started a new job. I work at the Joint Staff now. It is a pretty big deal, there is a lot of brass here, and I got to be at my best behavior at all times. It is going to be a tough year.
I did not want to be late on my first day of work, so I left home very early on my bicycle. On mile eight I got a flat tire. I could not repair it, so I had to find the nearest Target store and wait...
8 tags
Bikes and Brits
I have this British friend who is the British Army. I got him into CrossFit, and we kind of compete against each other. You know, a good d**k measuring contest has never hurt anyone.
OK, I take it back. It really does sucks to consistently come out short when you measure yourself against your peers. That particular guy is very yare, he is into biking, and he rides his bike for to work...
6 tags
Girls from Montenegro
So, last couple of weeks the Army sent me to take classes at the department of state facility. You know the place where American diplomats get their training before going overseas.
I was pretty much the only army guy there, so when a department of state guy sitting next to me confessed that he did a few years in the army back in the days, I felt like I established an instant rapport with...
9 tags
Dunkin Donuts
My last training session, necessary for me to become a full fledged employee of the Agency lasted three weeks. My classroom was right next to a Dunking Donuts shop. We are not talking about right across the street, or in the building next door. We are talking about down the hallway, just a few steps away from my classroom.
Yet, I was pretty good about not giving up to temptations. Whenever I...
February 2013
8 posts
Vet's Story, Part V
Here is the next installment of my Soldier’s story.
Vet’s Story, Part V
I went back to Beaumont Texas, where I was staying with another girl. I had no idea what to do; it was the worst part of my life up until now. I was lost, confused, angry, and worried for my son.
I knew Louisa, I knew that she is a good person and a great mother and I trusted her. That helped me. It helped...
7 tags
Vet's Story, Part IV
Here is the next part of the story. I am sorry for not starting it with a cute short story in which I sneak in a Word of the Day. It just did not seem appropriate.
Vet’s Story, part IV
Right after Christmas I left for Germany. It was probably the worst mistake I’ve ever made. At first everything was ok, but the people above me just didn’t seem that smart.
I felt bad for the new guys the...
8 tags
Vet's Story; Part III
If I might say so in the epexegesis, here is a third part of the Veteran’s story. suggested to the guy that he starts a blog, he is good with words, and has a writing style that just pulls the reader into his world. His story deserves to be heard, wouldn’t you think so?
Vet’s Story, Part III
My year long tour in Afghanistan came to an end and I returned to Hawaii where I spent...
11 tags
Vet's Story; Part II
A friend of mine asked me yesterday why I am doing this, why I am writing these Words Of The Day. For me writing is therapeutic, I love to fill blank pages with my writing, it helps me feel better. I also try to learn a new English word each day, hence the Word of the Day. Once I write something, I like to share it with my friends.
But the story below is not my story. Please don’t see it as...
5 tags
A Veteran's Tale
Today we will try something different. When I was in Afghanistan I had an honor of serving in the same platoon with a guy who wrote the following story. I strongly believe that a story like this belongs in feuilleton, that it needs to be published and heard so I got his permission to share it with you. Today is part I.
I am a combat vet. This is my story. Well I guess I will just start at...
6 tags
Fat Thursday
Last Thursday was one of the most important Polish holidays. It is called “Fat Thursday”. It is a donut holiday; you celebrate it by giving Polish donuts to your family and friends. The irrefrangible rule of the holiday is that the donuts have to be Polish.
You see, there is a big difference between American donuts and Polish donuts. Polish donuts lack a hole in the middle, are sweet and...
7 tags
Classified Course
So, yesterday I started a new course. I figured that I need to get smarter, if I am to survive the rest of my assignment here. Yesterday’s classes were pretty good, but today… Oh my God, I seriously considered putting an end to my misery. I mean, the classroom environment was classified, so did not even have a phone to play with. Yeah, sure I had a computer sitting right before me, but the...
6 tags
Ice Storm
So, I went hunting again last week. I am desperately trying to harvest something this season, anything really, so I can actually call myself a “hunter”. It was cold and wet that day, but that did not affect my determination.
I climbed my tree and sat in my tree stand, waiting for the deer to come. Deer did not come, but the rain did. Then the temperature dropped. It was dropping so fast,...
January 2013
10 posts
5 tags
Shortcut
It has been three months since Sean stole my bicycle from the metro station, and yet I still cannot completely decathect from it. I loved that bike, I bought it especially for riding to work three years ago. Unfortunately all of my previous work locations were either too close or too far to ride a bike, so it sat in the garage, mostly unused.
That is until I started to work at the Pentagon. ...
10 tags
Tap Dance
So, I have two toddlers. I love them to death, but I have to admit, I don’t get a whole lot of sleep lately. This makes it really hard for me to stay awake in classes. Not that the classes are boring, but for the most part of the day I am in that hypnopompic state, just struggling to keep my eyes open. Today, however, it was different. We had a class on the nature of the threat, and it was a bit...
7 tags
A Course with Foreigners
I am a magnet for foreigners. I don’t know why, it has always been like that. It is not like I am trying to hunt with the British and the Ukrainians; there are plenty of American hunters I could hunt with, but somehow I tend to gravitate towards the international waters. I think I was born to be a Foreign Area Officer.
This morning for example, I started a new course. I signed up for it...
5 tags
A peppered sandwich
It always cracks me up when I hear people saying: “English is one of the hardest languages to learn.” “Oh really?” I am always tempted to say. “And how many languages have YOU tried to learn?”. I don’t have to ask that question though. The only people who would say such a nonsense, are the people who only speak English. I guess it is true for them, since they only speak English, naturally, English...
6 tags
Under Secretary
So, I got an email about the Under Secretary of the Army visiting the Agency that I work for. I deleted it immediately, we get visits like all the time. Things like that don’t apply to me, I get to sit in the basement and I rarely get see the daylight anyway.
And then I see the email from the First Sergeant. It started “You have been selected to speak with the Under Secretary tomorrow....
7 tags
Writing Class
It is not a secret to anyone who knows me, that English is not my native language. I’ve been struggling with English since I got to this great Nation. The switch from the enlisted side to the officer corps was especially hard for me. I suddenly found myself among people who used words and phrases like “rotary wing aircraft”, “rail infrastructure” and “in order to” when they really meant...
5 tags
Backpack
So today I went to Pentagon’s Dunkin Donuts to buy me a bagel. I saw an abandoned backpack there, that someone has forgotten on a chair. Now, I was 99.99% sure that this was not a bomb, but why take this 00.01% chance? I found a nearest cop and reported my find with avidity, feeling really good about myself. Of course this will suck for the poor guy who will be looking for his backpack at some...
6 tags
Blind Lady Again
So, I ran into the couthie blind lady from last week again, at the Pentagon metro station. She had hard time remembering me, but I guess it makes it much harder to remember someone’s face if you are completely blind.
Turns out we have some things in common. She used to work in Morristown, NJ. We were in a similar line of work; I used to rescue people from the civilian world and put them...
10 tags
A Fellow Hunter
I like bow hunting. I mean it is not the most exciting sport in the world; you get to sit for hours on a tree, freezing your ass off through algid mornings while waiting for the big buck that never comes.
But you get to meet tons of interesting people. Last Saturday for example, as me and my Ukrainian buddy got off our trees and were having a hot tea to worm up, a lady with three dogs came by. ...
5 tags
New Year Celebration
When I was single, the only natural way to party seemed to be with the other singles. Married couples were boring, I thought then. Things changed when I got married; suddenly, I realized that I can have way more fun with the married couples than I could ever do with the singles.
The next step in the evolution of celebration, was to party only with married couples who have kids. I actually...
December 2012
9 posts
5 tags
Stolen Bike
So, I contacted the DC Metro Police and send them the ads on the Craigslist for the two stolen bikes that are being sold by the thief who stole my bike in October. I assumed that he probably specializes in theft of bikes at the metro stations, and I assumed that the cops would appreciate the opportunity to put another bad guy behind the bars.
Every day I piously checked my inbox for the tidings...
2 tags
Grammar
English grammar has always scared me. I mean why would a language need not only past, future and present tenses, but also a past perfect, present perfect, future perfect, past progressive, present progressive and future progressive? This is just way too many tenses to keep track of, I thought to my seventeen-year-old self back then.
When I came to the United States I only spoke a few words...
5 tags
Christmas Tree
I swear the person who invented Christmas tree ornaments must not had dealt with toddlers and kittens. Our tree ornaments are being quenched by the tiny hands and sharp claws one by one. I am afraid we might not have any left by the time the Christmas comes.
A person who invents cast iron tree ornaments one day is going to be really rich, I think.
***
Word of the Day
quench \kwench,...
5 tags
GPS
You know, I have a GPS in my car, and my GPS is set to speak to me with a British accent. Don’t ask me why, I am not sure. I guessthe American voice on my GPS sounds too every day for me, I absolutely hate how the Polish voice incorrectly conjugates the Polishwords, and the Russian voice just sounds too bitchy. I settled for British voice.
So, as I mentioned earlier, last Saturday I picked...
9 tags
CrossFit
So, seven years ago a guy from Cambodia was trying to introduce me to the wonderful world of CrossFit. Now, CrossFit is a circuit training, and I still had a sour taste in my mouth from all the circuit trainings I did in Basic Training, so thanked him nicely, I just did not think that CrossFit is for me. He was an insistent little bastard, but even he could not break my iron will not to be...
9 tags
Stolen Bike
Yeah, so I used to ride my bicycle to a metro station in Madrid. I mean, the metro station was in Carabanchel neighborhood of Madrid, which can be a bit rough at times. And you know what? Not a single Spaniard bothered my bike.
So, naturally I figured that if my bike survived Carabanchel intact, it will survive Virginia as well. Boy was I wrong. On fourth day of biking to themetro station, I...
10 tags
Black Squirrel
I saw a black squirrel on my way to work today. I stopped in an utter amazement for a second. I have never seen a black squirrel before!
One must fully appreciate the multi ethnic environment that one lives in. I mean, in the place where I grew I thought all squirrels come in reddish brown color, and all friends come in white. Boy was in for a surprise when I arrived to this great country. I...
7 tags
Blind Lady
I helped out a blind lady today. She walked out of the metro and was going to walk into the waiting area thinking it was the escalator. But this is where I stepped in. I asked if I could help, then I buttressed her hand with mine, and I walked her down the escalator and to her bus stop.
I always wanted to help out a blind lady, you know? Ever since I was a kid I did. But there just aren’t...
5 tags
The Hunt
Yeah, so I started hunting again. Hunting is a lonely sport by default, you get to sit on the tree for hours before you get a chance to test out your marksmanship skills, so I partnered up with a British officer for company.
Last Saturday we got up really early and arrived at oh’ dark thirty to the location that I scouted out a few days prior. That hunting location was supposed to be awesome,...
November 2012
3 posts
5 tags
Spanish Coffee
One thing I miss about living in Spain the most is the Spanish coffee. I mean, our two countries are quite similar in that aspect, neither government can function without coffee, but while American govies usually get their coffee really hot, really weak and in really big cups, their Spanish counterparts drink their coffee out of these cute tiny European coffee cups, their coffee is so strong it...
10 tags
Power Ball
So, yesterday the jackpot for the Powerball was at its highest. Half a billion dollars. Wow, a lot of money. People were going crazy here, at the Pentagon. The few convenience stores, conveniently located in this symbol of National Power that sold lottery tickets, had mile long lines of government workers and military, some svelte, some rather big, all blinded by the hundreds of millions to be...
8 tags
Pentagon and Fast Food.
I actually have been working here for a couple months now, but one thing that amazes me every day I come to work is the amount of fast food restaurants present at this symbol of American National Power.
I mean you have every type of junk food you can ever imagine here. Hamburgers dripping with fat, hot-dogs filled with meat-like substance, pizza with cheese substitute, and donuts coated with...
April 2012
4 posts
13 tags
The Soldiers & Sailors Civil Relief Act (SSCRA)
Dear Mr. John Gordon
I received your letter dated 19 March 2012 on 29 April 2012. The letter is regarding debt collection for an outstanding bill from Dish Network.
I have to admit that this letter was a surprise to me. I am an officer in the United States Army, currently on a year-long assignment overseas. Before leaving my last duty station in New Jersey I contacted the Dish Network and I...
13 tags
How does an officer become a FAO?
How does an officer become a FAO? Both proponent and HRC receive inquiriesdaily from prospective FAOs and we need your help in informing young Armyofficers on the process of becoming a FAO.
Officers are now selected to become Foreign Area Officers through theVoluntary Transfer Incentive Program (VTIP). VTIPs are held quarterly at HRC,and interested officers should refer to the most recent MILPER...
19 tags
Bulgaria
Bulgaria was an eye opening experience for me, to be in a European country that is under such a strong Eastern influence. It was my second trip to Bulgaria, but I was five years old during my first stay there, so I don’t remember much. It was an excellent opportunity for me to see a young and fragile democracy developing in an ex-communist country. I learned a great deal about the Bulgarian...
10 tags
SITREP 23 March 2012 – 9 April 2012
On 27 March 2011 I commenced my travel to Portugal. In order to get to know the country fully, and to get the first hand experience of the effect that the crisis had on the lives of Portuguese, I planned on visiting an important city in each of the countries distinct regions; the northern, central and the southern districts.
The first city that I saw was a northern city of Porto. Porto is a...
March 2012
4 posts
20 tags
3 March – 22 March 2012 SITREP (Poland and Czech...
On 3rd March 2012 I visited Segovia, a historically important Spanish city to the north of Madrid. Segovia was first founded by the Celts, to be later conquered by Romans; during the medieval times it become a center for cloth manufacturing and trading. It played a key role during Queen Isabela I ascend to power, and it served as a capital of Castille for some time, before it was moved to...
